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Swiping money at the church
By J. David Barron, dbarron@starlocalnews.com
Went to church last Sunday. I like to from time to time just to mess with the poor attendance lady. When we sign the questionnaire inserted into the bulletin, there's a space inquiring if we are a member or a visitor. I always put a ? between the two, like I don't understand. But she doesn't know that, so as far as she can tell, I may be saying, "I ain't sure."
Then, to really make sure I yank her chain, underneath the section asking for prayer requests, I just write, "Please pray for me." I figure she can already tell I need it, but by not detailing what exactly I may be wanting, I'm sure it causes her to have to really give it some effort. Either that, or it's helping her practice her forgiveness. That's good for her spiritual growth, too. Paul had his thorn. I'm hers. At least I don't just write, "Yep" under prayer requests.
Learned something new, too, while I was there being somewhat of a spiritual mischief. We had a guest preacher who taught us the difference between "naked" and "nekkid". He said "naked" is when you ain't got any clothes on. "Nekkid" is when you ain't got any clothes on and you're up to something. I pondered that awhile, praying even that my significant other might consider such a comment a sign from God, and wanna get "nekkid" a little more often. But she wouldn't even return my gaze, so I figured I might as well just put my clothes back
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