Archives > Opinion > Star Staff
Print
E-mail
Comment
Rate
RSS
Share
Wedding Brings Blues
By Patti Pfeiffer
Surely, it'd be an emotion-filled event. Fortunately distance provided protection. My heart was shielded, or so I thought...
My friend knew I wanted to be at his daughter's wedding, yet a previous commitment rendered attendance impossible. Over a hundred miles away and still I was present.
In spite of the duties, pressure, stress, tension, errand-running, fire-extinguishing the father of the bride managed to carve out time to include me. Selflessly he texted and emailed details and accounts before, during and after the big day.
There were reality-setting moments: bridal portrait, picking up rings, moving furniture from under parents' roof into a young couple's apartment wherein one would soon have a foreign name.
There were poignant points. Final moments. Several days before nuptials the family of four gathered for a backyard barbeque. Surely a festive, fun time. Yet I wondered if the dad felt as if it was a last supper of sorts? He was, after all only 48 hours, from giving away his only daughter, his precious, beloved princess, the one he loved on and doted over for over 20 years.
I studied and absorbed each comment, every minuscule detail -- dissecting and examining, imagining, attempting to feel the emotional conglomerate experienced by parents of the bride. It was useless.
So I just read and consumed the communications.
T minus 32 hours, "The bbq was fun. Reality of the actual event started to set in. After a very late night I'm moving slowly but attempting to rev up the engine. We still have things to do to prepare for the reception."
T minus 24 hours, "My daughter thinks I'm planning on sobbing while walking her down the aisle. I'll be fine but not telling her otherwise as I like to make her laugh."
T minus nine hours..."The [rehearsal] dinner went off without a hitch. A lot of laughter and playful banter. The groom's father did the usual 'I ain't got no more money' routine which was funny because he's a comical guy and this whole process is ridiculously expensive.
"Gifts were exchanged and more smiles. Folks on both sides were in relatively good humor with some emotion, but a lot of smiles; some tension but a lot of smiles; a lot of nervousness but more smiles. I think we've prepared as best we can and the ceremony will be magical. I'm nervous, my daughter morose, her brother scared, both mothers are on edge but the preacher is at peace and God is smiling."
And tears trickled down my cheeks.
T minus six hours an emotion check was conducted. "How's the father of the bride feeling?" I inquired as the minutes dwindled down.
"Doing well. Will be relaxing till to suit up. I feel, I think, like a father is supposed to feel. Proud and sad.
T minus 3 hours, "Putting tux on now. At the church. Big rain just hit."
I prayed for a rainbow.
That request was soon answered with another text, "It's clearing and beautiful."
T minus two hours, "I'm now full of emotion. Scared to death I'm not going to remember or spit out what I want to say during the ceremony without cracking. But I'll let things happen as they may."
As was appropriate, communication ceased. Though I knew it would not be read until later, still I wrote a final message, "It is time and I hear the wedding bells, see the tears and am viewing a proud father of the bride walking his gorgeous baby girl down the aisle...
Embrace, enjoy, inhale and consume! I am happy for all and know it will be a beautiful wedding."
Texts and emails stopped. Silence ensued. A sea of salty tears flowed. This was a happy occasion yet sadness enveloped me, clinging like a spider web. Why? I wondered the cause of the unexpected emotional interloper.
As I sat alone on the porch staring at nothing I dug deep. It hit without warning.
Childless, I longed for that which never was...will never be. The depth, width, height of my heart's hole was not fully revealed, calculated, adequately measured until the events unfolded, the narrative ended...and the absence appeared.
Patti Pfeiffer is a Star Local News columnist, freelance writer and author. She may be contacted at pattip913@msn.com
The following are comments from the readers.
In no way do they represent the view of Starlocalnews.com
In no way do they represent the view of Starlocalnews.com
You must register with a valid email to post comments.
Only your Member ID will be posted with the comments.
Only your Member ID will be posted with the comments.
Registered users sign in here:
Become a Registered User
- Return to: Star Staff «
- Home «
- Top of Page ^
