Opinion > Star Staff
Reminders for the Journey: This too shall pass
By Doug Smith
From the time I was 13 or so, until I left home at 20, one of my older sisters was in the throes of turmoil from a deeply troubled marriage. Consequently, having nowhere else to go, she would from time to time come home to live with us again, along with her two young children, who at that time in my life seemed to be hellions. Through sports, girlfriends and work, I was actually pretty able to escape the insanity of it all, but I well remember that I thought the drama would never end.
But it did. She finally divorced and remarried, her kids grew up, and I moved on as well. The concerns of those many years finally ceased, or were just replaced by others. Remembering those days has always brought to my mind the well worn phrase, "This too shall pass," which though many think is a Bible verse, actually is not. My in-depth research department - Google - claims that it originated with Persian Sufi mystics long ago. However, I imagine that such a common phrase has been stated countless times over the centuries by every culture under the sun, because first, it is mostly true, and secondly, because it gives us some hope that whatever difficulty of the day we are dealing with will ultimately pass. Ain't nothing wrong with a healthy dose of denial! Especially mine, though I may question yours!
I feel the need to elaborate on my above clause, "Because it is mostly true." Actually, in human terms, it ain't always so, especially when you consider that when we use that term, it is generally set forth trying to be positive. This is similar to other phrases that I take issue with and consider shallow, including, "Everything happens for a reason." Or "Everything always happens for the best." I consider both of these to be absurd. We don't have to look backward very far to see this. Just ask anyone who lost loved ones or property in the recent hurricane Sandy and the following tropical storm on our eastern states if they think it was all for the best, or if they are thrilled because "this too passed."
As I am thinking about my topic, it occurs to me that the "this too shall pass" phrase is mostly set forth in an attempt to be positive. However, as indicated above, if we have a need for it to conjure up that, we are in trouble. Yet, if it is set forth just indicating that what is going on now, be it ill or good, will ultimately no longer be a factor, I think we can take that one to the bank. For example, even though we expect death, it is often not so easy to place it in a positive category of "this too shall pass," though last I checked, it is an absolute.
I tend to think that our well-meant platitudes that we obsessively offer when we see others in pain are, quite often, counterproductive. We are generally so uncomfortable with pain, either emotional or physical, that we can't even accept our own discomfort, much less the discomfort of others, so we tell then, "It will be OK," or, "There will be a brighter day," just before we make our hasty escape. Or sometimes, we make extremely absurd statements, such as, "This must be God's will for you." When I hear this I just want someone to hand me the barf bag!
At least in our lifetimes, in my humble opinion, nothing is fixed for good. So I will proffer another humble opinion: The more we are willing to accept this, life is more vital and we are better able to face our challenges on somewhat constructive terms as it "passes."
Doug Smith is a licensed professional counselor. Contact him at 972-436-6227, doug@ccclewisville.com or visit his website at ccclewisville.com.
But it did. She finally divorced and remarried, her kids grew up, and I moved on as well. The concerns of those many years finally ceased, or were just replaced by others. Remembering those days has always brought to my mind the well worn phrase, "This too shall pass," which though many think is a Bible verse, actually is not. My in-depth research department - Google - claims that it originated with Persian Sufi mystics long ago. However, I imagine that such a common phrase has been stated countless times over the centuries by every culture under the sun, because first, it is mostly true, and secondly, because it gives us some hope that whatever difficulty of the day we are dealing with will ultimately pass. Ain't nothing wrong with a healthy dose of denial! Especially mine, though I may question yours!
I feel the need to elaborate on my above clause, "Because it is mostly true." Actually, in human terms, it ain't always so, especially when you consider that when we use that term, it is generally set forth trying to be positive. This is similar to other phrases that I take issue with and consider shallow, including, "Everything happens for a reason." Or "Everything always happens for the best." I consider both of these to be absurd. We don't have to look backward very far to see this. Just ask anyone who lost loved ones or property in the recent hurricane Sandy and the following tropical storm on our eastern states if they think it was all for the best, or if they are thrilled because "this too passed."
As I am thinking about my topic, it occurs to me that the "this too shall pass" phrase is mostly set forth in an attempt to be positive. However, as indicated above, if we have a need for it to conjure up that, we are in trouble. Yet, if it is set forth just indicating that what is going on now, be it ill or good, will ultimately no longer be a factor, I think we can take that one to the bank. For example, even though we expect death, it is often not so easy to place it in a positive category of "this too shall pass," though last I checked, it is an absolute.
I tend to think that our well-meant platitudes that we obsessively offer when we see others in pain are, quite often, counterproductive. We are generally so uncomfortable with pain, either emotional or physical, that we can't even accept our own discomfort, much less the discomfort of others, so we tell then, "It will be OK," or, "There will be a brighter day," just before we make our hasty escape. Or sometimes, we make extremely absurd statements, such as, "This must be God's will for you." When I hear this I just want someone to hand me the barf bag!
At least in our lifetimes, in my humble opinion, nothing is fixed for good. So I will proffer another humble opinion: The more we are willing to accept this, life is more vital and we are better able to face our challenges on somewhat constructive terms as it "passes."
Doug Smith is a licensed professional counselor. Contact him at 972-436-6227, doug@ccclewisville.com or visit his website at ccclewisville.com.
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